What if one day I'm not interested in programming anymore?

I love programming. I love the feeling of making something out of nothing, or solving a programming problem and then seeing it grow into something useful. I especially love the feeling of learning completely new things in just a few hours, and getting better at it without paying a dime.

I attended one of the best universities in the country for IT. I got my first job thanks to my hard work after my summer internship. I love my job and I've done my part very well. From the junior position, not long after, I became a senior very quickly and was recognized for my efforts.

But there came a point when it didn't interest me much anymore. Suddenly I hate going to work. Every day is a battle and I don't want to face it anymore.

What happened?
I started comparing myself to others who were better.
I started to fear being wrong and becoming a “loser”.
I started to be afraid of not knowing enough and started learning everything all the time.
I began to feel the burden of work, colleagues, children, debt and bills.
I also have another ungodly fear: Fear of being exposed as a lie.
I didn't realize I was suffering from " Impostor Syndrome "**. 

**Impostor Syndrome: This is a psychological syndrome in which sufferers do not realize their self-worth and the successes they have achieved. They often think that what they achieve is due to luck, not because of talent. People with this psychological disorder often fall into low self-esteem, consider themselves inferior, lose motivation to strive, withdraw and do not achieve any achievements in life.

Instead of enjoying my work, I worry excessively about my lack of understanding, that I haven't done enough. That I'm not adding enough value to the company. I forgot about my achievements and focused only on the mistakes I made. Not only do I focus on perfection in myself, but I also demand it from those around me. This is a perfect recipe for high stress and loss of happiness.

I remember every demo that I did in the past. I used to be very confident and happy in front of many people. Suddenly one day it disappeared. He was so nervous that he stammered when he spoke. I would think wildly and be afraid to say something stupid, and worry about what people would think of me.

The sudden outbursts of anger kept jumping up and preventing me from concentrating on my work. And it has taken a toll on my health. The energy was always below zero, and my relationship with family and colleagues became very bad, with insomnia, loss of strength, loss of loved ones.

Statistics show that up to 70% of people have this Impostor mentality. The problem is that you feel like you're the only one suffering from it. With luck one of your co-workers will have it too, but that's clearly not the solution. It hides very well, and the person who has it is also very good at hiding it in a very professional way.

Some solutions for you if you have it
See what you're doing. It's more than you think
Acknowledge what you have achieved, small or large. You deserve it.
If you get a compliment, take it. You deserve it.
Compare yourself to yourself. Be better than yesterday's selves. Don't over-compare.
Understand one thing: No one really understands what they're doing. Everyone is still learning.
Not knowing everything is okay. Software engineering evolves very quickly, too fast is another. So there's no need to rush.
Often your level of knowledge is the same as everyone else's, in a number of different areas.
Help each other learn, to help you understand how far you have learned.
Failure is okay. It is something very important and must have in life. And be open to all feedback from people around. It will help you grow faster.
It's okay to misunderstand, it's okay to be open.
Over time, you will get used to it, if you haven't used it for a long time, please review it to remember it longer.
In the workplace, there is a lot of malice, and bad talk. Just ignore it, it won't affect your life at all.
Not everything you make will be perfect. Software is like life, it needs long-term improvement. Your word is not just a line of code that you write in a few hours and then need to improve immediately.
Assuming everyone has this imposter mentality. Encourage them every day, tell them they are doing well, what they are good at. A small word of encouragement will have a long-lasting effect. If there is a team that can do this with everyone, it will create a very healthy environment.

We are also just small human beings, fear yes, doubt yes. Everyone has their own problems and difficulties to face outside of work pressure. These ideas are often forgotten in a professional setting, and we become separated quickly. Only when we realize it and desire a more personal and cohesive working environment.

I am not sure that this syndrome will go away completely. It will probably fade away as you realize and understand it. Remember, a lot of people get it and that's normal. I'm glad I'm slowly getting back to a time when I had an interest in programming.

It will attack you at any time. Maybe right from when you first learn to code, or when you are 10 years old. Maybe when you're starting to have your first child, maybe when you're interviewing for a job and you don't get it right away.

The most important thing is still to recognize it. Take it seriously. Once it has arrived, deal with it face to face, don't incubate it to make it bigger. Talk to others and help them if they are having this problem. Maybe this is also your way to get rid of it. Let's strive together more, to no longer feel guilty and keep the passion for programming.